Subtle Joys of Full Time RV Living: THE INTERSTATE TIRE BLOWOUT

Pop.
Whaaaa…
Look in rear view mirror.
Observe trail of white smoke.
Adrenal glands pump a quart of the good stuff directly into bloodstream.
Sphincter tightens so quickly that my ears pops from the vacuum.
Frantically search for ejector seat lever, but realize RV is not equipped with such a feature.
Instead I begin emergency maneuvering of the RV to the shoulder.
Tire pressure alarm, a bit late to the party, starts screaming.
Turn tire pressure alarm off while completing emergency maneuver to shoulder.
Arrive at shoulder.
Stop.
Apply parking brake.
Turn off engine.
Tire pressure alarm begins to scream a second time.
Remove battery from tire pressure alarm while simultaneously uttering insults.
Attempt to exit RV but end up dangling between seat and ground like a puppet.
Remember that I still have my seatbelt on.
Climb back inside RV.
Remove seat belt.
Exit RV.
Assess damage.
Tire exploded.
Fender now shaped like a fortune cookie.
Car side view mirror looks almost as though it were slapped repeatedly by a tire carcass.
Sphincter relaxes, but leaves permanent crease in shorts that won’t iron out.
Get out tools.
Start dealing with a tire blowout.

~ Ben, Tambi, & Molly | L/V BURT | “SAILBOATSTORY”

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